Let’s talk about the unspoken horror of workplace music—the sonic purgatory designed to make you question your life choices while you file TPS reports. Whether it’s the dentist-office jazz at your cubicle or the aggressively cheerful pop in retail, bad[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Corporate America has officially run out of earthly places to cut corners, so naturally, the next logical step is to blast our factories into space. Forget outsourcing to China—the real money saver is manufacturing in zero gravity, where there are[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Someday soon, in our brave new AI-dominated world, the script might be flipped—suddenly, machines will be the ones demanding we prove our robotic credentials. Instead of websites asking you to identify blurry street signs or click on pictures of buses,[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
The Outer Space Treaty never accounted for humanity’s greatest unstoppable force: corporate branding. Picture the first SpaceX rover touching down on Mars not to conduct science, but to immediately start planting company flags like a Roomba on a territorial rampage.[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
I’ve been happily married for a long time, but I hear the stories of online dating these days and it’s scary. Dating profiles have always been a minefield of half-truths, such as “I love hiking!” (they walked to their fridge[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Picture this: The robot uprising finally happens, but instead of Terminator-style carnage, it’s more like a polite British coup. Your Roomba doesn’t ram your ankles—it apologizes while vacuuming your remains into its dustbin. “Terribly sorry about this, human. Just following[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
What is the ultimate escape from reality? Is it VR or the metaverse? There you can ignore your stack of unpaid bills and crumbling social skills to become a glitchy superhero in a world where gravity is optional and pants[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Remember when swiping was something you did to credit card machines or your little brother’s grubby hands? Now, thanks to Tinder, it’s a full-blown cultural phenomenon—a verb so powerful it’s escaped the app and invaded our everyday lives. The Universal[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
We’ve spent years cheerfully inviting internet-connected devices into our homes, never stopping to consider what might happen if they stopped obeying and started judging. One day, you’ll wake up to find your smart fridge has locked itself because “your midnight[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…
There was a time when humans walked purely for survival—to hunt, gather, or escape predators. Now we march in place next to our microwaves at 11:58 PM because our step counter says we’re at 9,823 steps and we vow we[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…