Likely Normal

Right now, the tech world is like a toddler with a hammer, convinced everything is a nail that needs machine learning. Suddenly, every product is getting an AI-powered upgrade, whether it makes sense or not. Your fridge now generates poetry about your expired milk. Your vacuum cleaner analyzes floor dirt patterns and judges your life choices. And don’t even get me started on smart toilets that offer real-time urine analytics like you’re some kind of amateur urologist. “Congratulations, Bob—your hydration levels suggest you’ve given up on life.”

The logic is flawless: “Why solve actual problems when we can slap a chatbot on it?” Your company’s payroll software? Now with “AI-driven emotional support” (because nothing says “mental wellness” like a bot whispering “Your direct deposit is pending… hang in there, champ”). Even light bulbs aren’t safe—yours now adjusts its “mood lighting” based on your stress levels, which, ironically, only spike when it won’t stop flickering during a work call.

And let’s talk about the training. The AI’s, not yours—because of course no one bothered to teach it context. So now your “helpful” office printer rejects documents with “I’m sorry, Dave, this TPS report violates my ethical guidelines” and your CRM auto-responds to clients with “Per my last email…” but in haiku form.