Likely Normal

Imagine you’re scrolling through crypto Twitter when suddenly—BAM!—your brain short-circuits. “DOGE 2.0 just dropped?! Shut up and take my life savings!” Your mouse becomes a blur of reckless clicks, like a caffeinated woodpecker attacking the “BUY” button. Research? Pfft. You’ve got vibes, a hunch, and this one guy’s tweet that says “To the moon 🚀” with a rocket emoji. That’s basically a Harvard MBA in crypto, right?

When you search it out, all you find are posts stating: “Do your own research.” Too late, champ. You’ve already YOLO’d into “ShibaInuElonFlokiCoin” based entirely on a meme of a dog wearing sunglasses. Your stomach drops. “Wait… does this coin… do anything?” You frantically Google it. The top result? “How to claim crypto losses on your taxes.”

Your portfolio now looks like a Jackson Pollock painting—all splatters, no strategy. But hey, at least you’ve got a sick story for your grandkids: “Back in my day, we bought pixels of cartoon dogs and called it investing!”