Likely Normal

There are few sounds more terrifying in the modern workplace than the sudden, gut-churning realization that you’ve been unmuted this whole time. It’s the virtual equivalent of walking into a meeting with your pants down—except instead of your dignity, you’ve just exposed your true thoughts on Karen from Marketing’s “quick win” proposal (spoiler: there was nothing quick about it).

The Unmuted Incident follows a predictable arc of horror:

1. The Accidental Confession – That moment when you mutter “This could’ve been an email” to your dog, only to realize your microphone has been broadcasting your treason to the entire leadership team.

2. The Domestic Soundtrack – The unmistakable clang of a dropped pan, your roommate yelling “Why is the toilet still broken?”, or the sound of a very personal bathroom break. Virtual meetings have become the world’s worst reality show, and we’re all unwilling contestants.

3. The Third-Party Shame – When someone else is unmuted and doesn’t know it, forcing you to frantically DM them while they obliviously critique the presenter’s outfit to their spouse (“Is that a Christmas sweater? In April?”).

Some classics we’ve all witnessed:

• The Snack Crimes – The mic picks up aggressive chip-crunching with the clarity of an ASMR video.

• The Background Roast – “Wait, that’s what the CEO looks like?”

• The Untimely Tech Rant – “I swear, if this VPN drops again—”

No one tells you. Colleagues will watch you humiliate yourself in real time, silently deciding whether to be a hero (muting you) or a villain (letting it play out for entertainment). By the time you notice the mute button’s betrayal, your career is already trending on Slack.