Likely Normal

Social media sometimes feels like that one friend who never lets you forget that time you tripped in public, except this friend has a photographic memory and insists on sharing the evidence every. Single. Year. Just when you’ve finally repressed that memory of your 2014 food blogger phase, Facebook pops up with a “Hey, remember this?” notification featuring a photo of your disastrous attempt at avocado rose toast that looked more like a crime scene. Thanks, I’d rather not.

These platforms have turned into personalized time machines, except instead of revisiting your greatest triumphs, you’re subjected to a highlight reel of your most questionable life choices. Instagram’s “On This Day” feature is particularly ruthless—one minute you’re sipping coffee like a normal person, the next you’re confronted with a throwback to your scene kid phase, complete with neon hair, a studded belt, and a MySpace-angle selfie that screams “I was going through something.” The caption? Probably something like “Rawr XD”—a phrase that should have stayed buried in 2009, yet here we are.

And let’s not forget LinkedIn, which occasionally surfaces that one cringe internship post where you referred to yourself as a “dynamic go-getter with a passion for synergizing paradigms.” Meanwhile, Snapchat’s memories feature delights in resurfacing videos of you drunkenly singing karaoke to a song you don’t even like, as if to ask, “You sure you’ve grown as a person?”

The worst part? These reminders always seem to arrive at the worst possible moment—like when you’re in a work meeting and your phone buzzes with a “7 years ago today…” preview of you dressed as a zombie at a Halloween party you don’t remember attending. Or when you’re on a date and your friend tags you in a decade-old post where you’re wearing jorts and holding a fish like it’s your LinkedIn headshot.

At this point, we’re all just one accidental tap away from our past selves publicly humiliating us. The only solution? Embrace the chaos. Own the cringe. Or, at the very least, disable notifications and pray your friends have the decency not to tag you in that video of you attempting the Harlem Shake.