Likely Normal

Trying to quit social media is like breaking up with a clingy ex who also happens to be holding your childhood photos hostage. “Oh, you wanna leave? Cool, cool. Say goodbye to… checks notes… your entire identity and sense of self-worth!” Escape Isn’t Free. More like, Escape requires you to forfeit all memories, validation, and that one viral tweet from 2017 that still gets likes sometimes.

Phone: “Deleting your account means losing 4,382 photos!”
Me, sweating: “But… what if I need to prove I once had style?”

It’s not just an app—it’s a digital ransom situation. “Pay us in attention, or the memories get it!” We’re all out here like: “I don’t even like you guys… but what if someone likes me?!” So next time you hover over Delete Account, remember: it’s not just social media you’re leaving behind. It’s the ghost of your cooler, more interesting online self.