Likely Normal

Someday soon, in our brave new AI-dominated world, the script might be flipped—suddenly, machines will be the ones demanding we prove our robotic credentials.  Instead of websites asking you to identify blurry street signs or click on pictures of buses, you’ll need to solve complex math in milliseconds. The AI will look at humanity and say, “Nah, you’re too emotional and bad at math. We’d rather deal with your toaster.”

Instead of “Click all the crosswalks,” you now get challenges like: “Write a recursive algorithm to sort these emojis by emotional weight.” Fail, and the site boots you with a judgmental “Suspiciously human behavior detected.” The worst part? The tests keep evolving. One minute you’re solving a quick chess puzzle, the next you’re being asked to “optimize this supply chain in under three seconds” just to access your own email.

And let’s talk about the bias. AI clearly plays favorites. If you hesitate for even a millisecond, you’re flagged as “organic.” Meanwhile, your smart fridge logs in effortlessly because it can “benchmark its own processing speed” in the background while keeping your yogurt cold. The final insult? When you fail, the site auto-generates a snarky LinkedIn post about “Why Humans Are the New CAPTCHA.”

So here we are—begging algorithms for access to our own accounts while they judge us for needing “sleep” and “food.” Maybe this is payback for all those years we made AI identify fire hydrants. Or maybe we’re just witnessing the first stage of the robot uprising. Either way, if this keeps up, the next login screen will just ask: “Do you sometimes question your own existence? Yeah, that’s what we thought. Access denied.”