Likely Normal

Nothing says we didn’t think this through like building your mission-critical data center in a flood zone because the rent was cheap, or next to a fireworks factory because “the explosions make great stress tests!” Sure, that abandoned warehouse by the railroad tracks seemed like a steal—until the 3 AM freight train vibrations start performing an impromptu defrag on your RAID arrays. And let’s talk about cooling systems—because nothing keeps servers chill like a single box fan from Walmart and the desperate hope that “it’s fine” counts as an HVAC strategy.

Then there’s the classic “fire suppression system” that’s really just a can of Diet Coke and a prayer, or the brilliant decision to stack servers so tight that your techs need to be contortionists just to replace a hard drive. (“Scalability? Sure, if we build vertically and ignore basic physics!”) The real kicker? When you realize your “cost-saving” location actually costs triple in generator fuel because the power grid was last updated when flip phones were cool.

At the end of the day, poor data center planning is like playing Jenga with your company’s future—except every block is labeled “single point of failure” and the tower is already leaning. But hey, at least when the inevitable disaster strikes, you’ll have front-row seats to your own episode of Infrastructure Failures Gone Viral!