Likely Normal

IT pros all know that on-call really means permanently tethered to your laptop like a dog on a leash, and work-life balance is just a mythical creature rumored to exist somewhere between the 3 AM ransomware alert and your fifth cup of coffee that’s basically motor oil at this point. The world expects the internet to work like magic, but forgets there’s a team of sleep-deprived wizards behind the curtain, frantically Googling “how to restore a domain controller” while their personal lives crumble like a cookie in a toddler’s fist.

Let’s be real: when systems go down, you’re not just fixing tech—you’re performing CPR on a company’s entire existence, often while some VP breathes down your neck asking “Is it fixed yet?” like you’re a vending machine that dispenses miracles. The pressure is so intense, you start seeing firewall logs in your dreams, and your idea of self-care is remembering to blink occasionally. And the best part? No one notices you until something breaks—then suddenly, you’re the villain for daring to take a shower when the CEO’s PowerPoint won’t load.

So here’s to the unsung heroes running on caffeine, sheer panic, and the quiet realization that available is just a fancy word for currently not on fire. May your alerts be few, your backups actually exist, and your family someday recognize your face again.

(P.S. If you see your IT team, throw them a Snickers. They’re not themselves when they’re hungry… or awake… or sane.)