Likely Normal

Gone are the days when arguments happened in hushed tones or behind closed doors – now we broadcast our beefs to the world like it’s prime-time entertainment. Social media has become the digital equivalent of throwing chairs on Jerry Springer, except the audience is your high school classmates, your boss, and that one guy who sells essential oils in your DMs.

What starts as a vaguepost – “Some people really show their true colors 😒” – inevitably escalates into an all-out comment section war where spelling errors multiply faster than the drama itself. The beauty of these public spectacles lies in their predictability: first comes the subtweet, then the not-so-subtle meme response, followed by the obligatory “I’m above this drama” post from someone who absolutely is not above this drama. Strangers become invested commentators, exes resurface with popcorn emojis, and your great-aunt Mildred chimes in with “This isn’t what Jesus would want!”

Meanwhile, the original disagreement – probably about something as trivial as who left the group chat first – has ballooned into an epic saga with more subplots than a telenovela. By next week, you’ll both be liking each other’s vacation photos like nothing happened, because nothing bonds people quite like mutually assured embarrassment in front of 800 acquaintances. In the grand tradition of reality TV, we’ve all become both the stars and audience of our own trashy dramas, proving that while humanity may have invented private messaging, we clearly prefer our conflicts with a side of public humiliation.