Likely Normal

There are some great firewalls out there, but for them to work properly, they must also be configured properly. The problem isn’t firewalls themselves – it’s the half-asleep, checkbox-ticking, “that’s how we’ve always done it” configurations that turn these security tools into glorified carnival bouncers. Somewhere in the IT dungeon, an overworked admin copied a 2008 rule set that blocks Pinterest for “bandwidth abuse” while leaving SSH ports wide open because “nobody would ever guess our password is ‘Spring2024!'” The result? Security theater where the real threats waltz in through the digital service entrance while employees get tackled for trying to access Dropbox.

These misconfigured monstrosities operate on a simple philosophy: “If it’s fun, block it. If it’s actually dangerous…meh.” They’ll:

• Block Slack GIFs for “malware risk” while allowing executable email attachments from any @hotmail.com address
• Blacklist Wikipedia as “unproductive” but whitelist every sketchy SaaS platform sales teams “absolutely need right now”
• Flag Oracle’s Java update site as dangerous while permitting unsigned drivers from “DriverDownloads4U.biz”

The configuration logic reads like a parody:
“Block all VPNs (security!) except the one random vendor VPN we forgot about (convenience!)”
“Prevent cloud storage uploads (data loss prevention!) but allow unlimited USB device connections (whoops!)”
“Ban all ‘entertainment’ sites except LinkedIn (which is absolutely where productivity goes to die)”

Meanwhile, actual attackers are having a field day with:

• Unrestricted RDP ports because “the CFO needs to work remotely sometimes”
• Default admin credentials on every printer and IoT device
• Whitelisted “trusted” domains that haven’t been reviewed since the Obama administration

These systems often log every false positive (your attempt to read a news article) while somehow missing real breaches for months. The security team gets alerts about employees “wasting time” on GitHub but stays blissfully unaware of the crypto miner running on three department servers.

Remember: A poorly configured firewall is like a TSA agent who confiscates nail clippers but waves through a flamethrower – it only annoys the honest people.