Likely Normal

I’ve been happily married for a long time, but I hear the stories of online dating these days and it’s scary. Dating profiles have always been a minefield of half-truths, such as “I love hiking!” (they walked to their fridge once), “I’m really into cooking!” (they can microwave popcorn). But now, with AI in the mix, we’ve entered a new era of romantic catfishing where people outsource their entire personality to ChatGPT. The results? Disastrously entertaining.

The AI-Crafted Casanova

You match with someone whose profile reads like a Nobel Prize acceptance speech: “I’m a passionate, multifaceted individual who thrives on sunsets, intellectual discourse, and the subtle art of French baking.” Sounds dreamy—until you realize they pasted “write me a sexy dating bio” into an AI bot and called it a day. The first red flag? When they show up to the date and ask, “Wait, do I like French baking? The robot said I did.”

The Generic Love Bot

Some AI-generated profiles are so vague they could describe a toaster: “I enjoy fun, laughter, and good vibes. Looking for someone who gets me.” Wow, groundbreaking. You half-expect their next message to be “ERROR: ROMANTIC PROTOCOL NOT FOUND. PLEASE INSERT COMPLIMENT.”

The Overly Poetic Disaster

Then there’s the profile that sounds like a rejected Hallmark card: “I’m a wanderer in the garden of life, seeking a fellow soul to share in the symphony of existence.” Translation: “I asked AI to make me sound deep, and now I don’t know what any of this means.” When you meet them, they’re just a regular person who spends weekends eating cereal in bed.
The AI-Generated Photo Fiasco

Some go full cyber-delulu, using AI-generated headshots where they look like a “hyper-attractive corporate stock photo.” You show up to the date and do a double take—“Wait, why do you have six fingers in your Tinder pics?” They panic. “That was… a Photoshop experiment.” Sure, Jan.

The Robotic Flirt

Their opener? “Your beauty is statistically significant.” Their follow-up? “According to my algorithms, we are 87.3% compatible.” Nothing kills romance faster than a love interest who talks like a spreadsheet.

The Sad Truth

At some point, the AI facade cracks. You ask about their “love of adventure” only to find out their biggest thrill is “trying new brands of microwave meals.” The bio said “sapiosexual,” but they think it’s a type of dinosaur.

The Lesson?

AI might help you sound fancier, but it can’t fake chemistry. (And it definitely can’t explain why you claimed to be “a certified sommelier” when you think Merlot is a car model.)

So next time you’re tempted to let a robot write your love life, remember: algorithms can’t flirt for you. (But if they could, they’d probably ghost you first.)