Likely Normal

Remember when swiping was something you did to credit card machines or your little brother’s grubby hands? Now, thanks to Tinder, it’s a full-blown cultural phenomenon—a verb so powerful it’s escaped the app and invaded our everyday lives.

The Universal Language of Rejection

These days, you don’t just dislike something—you swipe left on it. Bad date? Swipe left. Overpriced avocado toast? Swipe left. Your uncle’s conspiracy theories at Thanksgiving? Aggressively swipe left. It’s the polite way to say “absolutely not” without having to actually say it.

Meanwhile, swipe right has become the ultimate stamp of approval. Found the perfect pizza place? Swipe right. Met someone who also thinks Die Hard is a Christmas movie? Super swipe right. The phrase has evolved into a shorthand for “I enthusiastically endorse this thing, much like I did that one profile with the golden retriever and the suspiciously good abs.”

Real-Life Swipe Culture

• Restaurants: “We swiped right on this taco truck, and now we’re in a committed relationship.”

• Fashion: “I saw those jeans, but the price tag made me swipe left so fast I got friction burns.”

• Pets: “My cat swiped left on the new brand of treats. Now she’s giving me the cold shoulder.”

• Work Meetings: “Bob’s PowerPoint was so bad I mentally swiped left into another dimension.”

When Swiping Goes Too Far

Of course, like any good thing, humanity has taken it too far. People now swipe left on entire life choices (“I swiped left on adulting today”) and swipe right on questionable decisions (“Yeah, I swiped right on tequila last night. Regrets? Maybe.”). Somewhere, a linguistics professor is crying into their coffee, wondering how “It’s a match!” became the modern version of “Fate has spoken.”

The Future of Swiping

Soon, we won’t even need words. Just point at things and grunt “left” or “right.” Marriages will start with “We matched!” Breakups will be “Connection lost.” And when the robot uprising comes, our last words will be “Swipe left on Skynet.”

So next time you reject a salad or enthusiastically embrace a nap, remember—you’re not just living your life. You’re curating it, one imaginary swipe at a time.