Likely Normal

Caution: This Sign Exists Because Someone Was That Dumb

We live in a world where common sense has been legally obligated to take a backseat to liability. Everywhere you look, there are signs stating the blindingly obvious—not because we’ve collectively forgotten how to function as a species, but because somewhere, at some point, someone did something so mind-bendingly stupid that a lawyer had to get involved. And now, we all must suffer the consequences in the form of aggressively literal signage.

Take the classic “Caution: Hot Coffee” warning on your morning cup of joe. This exists not because humanity forgot that coffee is traditionally served warm, but because one person, armed with poor life choices and a scalded lap, decided that they were the victim in this tragic tale of thermal physics. Now, every coffee cup comes with a disclaimer that basically says, “This liquid is hot, in the same way that fire is spicy and gravity makes things fall.” Thanks, legal system.

Then there’s the “Do Not Iron Clothes While Wearing Them” label. At first glance, you think, “Who would—? And then you remember: Someone did. Somewhere, a person looked at a steaming-hot metal plate and thought, “You know what this needs? Direct contact with my bare skin.” And because that person walked among us, we now have to endure the humiliation of being explicitly told not to press a 400-degree appliance against our bodies.

Let’s not forget the “Remove Infant Before Folding Stroller” instruction. Yes, that’s real. Somewhere, a sleep-deprived parent must have thought, “Eh, the baby’s flexible,” and now the rest of us have to live with the implication that infants are optional accessories. Similarly, the “Do Not Use Hair Dryer in the Shower” warning exists because someone apparently needed to test whether electricity and water really don’t mix. (Spoiler: They don’t. The Darwin Awards do.)

Even nature isn’t safe from our collective lack of judgment. National parks are now dotted with signs like “Do Not Approach Wild Animals” (after someone tried to pet a bison for Instagram) and “Do Not Lick This Toad” (because, well… someone licked the toad). At this point, it’s only a matter of time before we see “Warning: Bears Will Eat Your Picnic Basket” or “Meteors Are Not Edible.”

The crowning achievement in this genre has to be the “This Product May Contain Peanuts” label on a bag of peanuts. Yes, really. Somewhere along the line, a person opened a package clearly marked “PEANUTS” and was somehow shocked to find peanuts inside. And now, we all have to endure the existential crisis of reading a warning that essentially says, “The thing that is exactly what it says it is may, in fact, be exactly what it says it is.”

So the next time you see a sign that makes you think, “No one would actually do that,” remember: They did. They absolutely did. And now, because of them, we live in a world where every product, public space, and piece of machinery comes with instructions that treat us all like we’re one bad decision away from starring in a Final Destination movie.

In conclusion, humanity: We’re not sending our best. But at least we’re keeping the lawyers employed.