Likely Normal

Computers are supposed to be these marvels of modern engineering, capable of calculating complex equations and rendering lifelike graphics—until they suddenly keel over because you, a mere mortal, committed the unforgivable sin of opening too many browser tabs. It’s astounding how these machines, built to withstand the rigors of space travel and high-frequency trading, can be brought to their knees by the most absurdly trivial things.

Take, for example, the classic “Windows Update at the Worst Possible Moment” crash. One minute, you’re finishing a critical report due in five minutes; the next, your screen goes black, and a cheerful message informs you that your computer will restart “to install important updates”—none of which are apparently important enough to prevent this digital ambush. Or how about the “I Installed a Font and Now My PC is a Brick” phenomenon? You just wanted to spice up your PowerPoint with a quirky typeface, and suddenly your entire operating system develops the stability of a Jenga tower in an earthquake.

Then there’s the “Mystery Peripheral” crash, where plugging in a seemingly harmless device—a mouse, a USB drive, your grandma’s ancient printer—causes your computer to blue-screen like it’s just witnessed a horror movie. The error message? “Something went wrong.” Gee, thanks. Even weather can crash your rig these days. A particularly humid day can turn your laptop into a sauna, and before you know it, your fan sounds like a jet engine preparing for takeoff while your screen flickers like a disco ball from hell.

Let’s not forget the “I Literally Just Looked at It Wrong” crash, where your computer freezes because you dared to click File > Save a millisecond too soon after opening a document. Or the “Chrome Tab Avalanche”, where opening one more Gmail tab causes your entire system to wheeze like an asthmatic vacuum cleaner before giving up entirely.

The real kicker? The more advanced technology gets, the weirder the crashes become. AI-powered error messages now gaslight you with nonsense like “This program performed an illegal operation” (what, like jaywalking?) or “Your graphics driver stopped responding and has recovered”—right after your game has already face-planted into a pixelated abyss.

In the end, computers are like moody artists: brilliant when they want to be, but prone to dramatic meltdowns over the slightest provocation. The only solution is to accept that, sooner or later, your machine will betray you—and when it does, the cause will be so stupid you’ll question whether technology was a mistake.