Likely Normal

What is the ultimate escape from reality? Is it VR or the metaverse? There you can ignore your stack of unpaid bills and crumbling social skills to become a glitchy superhero in a world where gravity is optional and pants are nonexistent. The longer you stay in, the weirder the real world feels. “Wait, you mean I can’t teleport to the fridge? What kind of low-budget simulation is this?”

The metaverse takes it further—suddenly, you’re invested in digital real estate while your actual apartment looks like a post-apocalyptic thrift store. You’ll spend hours customizing your avatar’s luxury sneakers, but IRL, you’ve been wearing the same holey socks since *2019*. And let’s not forget the existential whiplash of “Wait… is my VR job more fulfilling than my real one?” (Spoiler: Yes, because your metaverse boss is a friendly robot, not Dave from Accounting.)

The real tragedy? When you try to “IRL socialize” and accidentally reach for the air menu to mute someone. Or when you panic because your real hands don’t have tooltips. Yes, then you have problems. It gets even worse when you try to do VR with others in the same space. For some inexplicable reason, VR is not a team sport. So, if you ever catch yourself bowling in VR while your real life implodes, maybe log off. Or lean in and fully commit to being a digital ghost.