Likely Normal

Imagine strapping into a suit that lets you physically experience video games—every punch, every fall, even the questionable decision to belly-flop into a digital lake. Full-body haptic feedback suits promise to revolutionize gaming by making your poor life choices literally painful. Forget just seeing your character take damage—now you can wince in real time as your on-screen avatar steps on a Lego or gets hit by a rogue bowling ball. It’s immersive realism at its finest, assuming you’ve always wanted to know what it feels like to be on the losing end of a virtual sword fight.

These suits are essentially high-tech torture devices disguised as entertainment. One minute, you’re happily exploring a fantasy world—the next, your spine is buzzing because a pixelated squirrel threw an acorn at your head. And let’s not forget multiplayer mode, where your friend’s terrible driving skills in Mario Kart suddenly translate into actual seat-rumbling vibrations. The future of gaming? More like the future of involuntary workout sessions.

Of course, there are practical concerns. How many parents will regret buying these when their kid’s Minecraft character falls into lava and the resulting feedback sends them leaping off the couch? Will “rage-quitting” now involve frantically unplugging yourself from the suit before your virtual humiliation becomes a full-body experience? And most importantly—will we finally get an apology from game developers when their buggy physics engine causes our suits to glitch and simulate falling down an endless flight of stairs?

Still, you have to admire the commitment. Why just play a game when you can live its consequences? Whether it’s the gentle nudge of a breeze in Animal Crossing or the full-force kick of a Street Fighter uppercut, haptic suits ensure no bad decision goes unfelt. Just remember to stretch first—your virtual adventures are about to get very real.