Likely Normal

Merry Christmas. Santa may like cookies, but the rest of us don’t. At least when it comes to website cookies. Every time you visit a website, you’re greeted with the digital equivalent of a back-alley deal: “Hey kid… want a cookie?” And just like in a bad spy movie, you know you shouldn’t take it—but the website won’t let you move forward until you do.

No matter what you pick, you lose. Accept them all? Congrats, you’re now being stalked by ads for that one pair of socks you glanced at for 3 seconds in 2019. Reject them? Suddenly the website “malfunctions” in ways that would make a Bond villain proud.

These popups always act like they’re doing you a favor. “We value your privacy!” says the notification that won’t let you read the article until you surrender your browsing history. “This helps personalize your experience!” they claim, as you’re served the same 3 ads everywhere you go for months.

And let’s not forget the legitimate interest loophole—corporate speak for “We’re gonna do it anyway, but now with 10% more guilt.”

In the end, we all click “Accept All” like zombies, because life’s too short to audit a website’s snack preferences. Just know that somewhere out there, an algorithm is judging you for how fast you gave in.