Likely Normal

Remember the good old days when stores actually wanted your business? When you could pay with a check like a civilized person, use plastic without a surprise fee, or hand over cash without getting side-eye from the cashier? Those days are long gone, my friends. We’ve somehow time-traveled back to the Wild West of payment methods—where stores demand cash like we’re in a Prohibition-era speakeasy, slap convenience fees on credit cards like modern-day bandits, and treat personal checks like they’re ancient hieroglyphics.

It’s gotten ridiculous. Walk into any store these days, and you’re basically given two options: Pay with cash, but don’t give them coins because who can be bothered to mess with those, or use a credit card and get hit with a 3.5% “because we can” fee. And don’t even think about writing a check—apparently, that’s now as socially acceptable as paying in livestock. You’d have better luck offering to barter with seashells.

Gas stations are the worst offenders. They lure you in with big, friendly signs advertising one price—only for you to pull up and realize that’s the cash price. The real cost (you know, the one for anyone who doesn’t carry a wad of twenties like a 1920s gangster) is 30 cents higher per gallon. It’s not a gas station; it’s a financial ambush.

And let’s talk about the death of checks. Stores used to accept them just fine—sure, maybe they’d peek at your ID like you were trying to pass a forged Mona Lisa, but at least they took it. Now? Cashiers look at you like you just handed them a scroll written in Latin. “Uh… we don’t take those anymore.” Why? “Because… reasons.” Meanwhile, they’re perfectly happy to tack on an extra fee if you dare to use a card.

At this point, we’re one step away from stores installing tollbooths at the entrance. “Will you be paying with cash, card, or your firstborn child? A 2% fee applies for breathing in the checkout lane.”

The irony? These same businesses will still beg you to sign up for their store credit card—the one with the 27% APR and rewards that expire before you even get home. “Just apply today and save 10%!” they chirp, as if they’re not the ones who inflated the prices in the first place.

So what’s the solution? Start stuffing your mattress with cash? Pay in loose nickels out of spite? Or maybe we should all just start trading in gold bullion and be done with it. Either way, one thing’s clear: Somewhere along the way, “convenience” became a one-way street—and we’re the ones paying the toll.Remember the good old days when stores actually wanted your business? When you could pay with a check like a civilized person, use plastic without a surprise fee, or hand over cash without getting side-eye from the cashier? Those days are long gone, my friends. We’ve somehow time-traveled back to the Wild West of payment methods—where stores demand cash like we’re in a Prohibition-era speakeasy, slap convenience fees on credit cards like modern-day bandits, and treat personal checks like they’re ancient hieroglyphics.

It’s gotten ridiculous. Walk into any store these days, and you’re basically given two options: Pay with cash (exact change preferred, because God forbid they crack open the register for pennies), or use a credit card and get hit with a 3% “because we can” fee. And don’t even think about writing a check—apparently, that’s now as socially acceptable as paying in livestock. You’d have better luck offering to barter with seashells.

Gas stations are the worst offenders. They lure you in with big, friendly signs advertising one price—only for you to pull up and realize that’s the cash price. The real cost (you know, the one for anyone who doesn’t carry a wad of twenties like a 1920s gangster) is 30 cents higher per gallon. It’s not a gas station; it’s a financial ambush.

And let’s talk about the death of checks. Stores used to accept them just fine—sure, maybe they’d peek at your ID like you were trying to pass a forged Mona Lisa, but at least they took it. Now? Cashiers look at you like you just handed them a scroll written in Latin. “Uh… we don’t take those anymore.” Why? “Because… reasons.” Meanwhile, they’re perfectly happy to tack on an extra fee if you dare to use a card.

At this point, we’re one step away from stores installing tollbooths at the entrance. “Will you be paying with cash, card, or your firstborn child? A 2% fee applies for breathing in the checkout lane.”

The irony? These same businesses will still beg you to sign up for their store credit card—the one with the 27% APR and “rewards” that expire before you even get home. “Just apply today and save 10%!” they chirp, as if they’re not the ones who inflated the prices in the first place.

So what’s the solution? Start stuffing your mattress with cash? Pay in loose nickels out of spite? Or maybe we should all just start trading in gold bullion and be done with it. Either way, one thing’s clear: Somewhere along the way, “convenience” became a one-way street—and we’re the ones paying the toll.