Likely Normal

There exists a special breed of human—part warrior, part diplomat, part sleep-deprived maniac—who attempts to balance raid schedules with soccer practice, guild drama with parent-teacher conferences, and epic loot drops with remembering to actually feed their children. These brave souls log into World of Warcraft as a legendary hero and log out to their toddler asking why dragons can’t be real (“Because Mommy already fights enough imaginary monsters, sweetie”).

The Gamer Parent’s Impossible To-Do List

• Explain to your guild why you suddenly went AFK (Toddler located the keyboard. Again.)
• Convince your spouse that “just one more dungeon” is a legitimate life priority (Spoiler: It’s not.)
• Pretend to care about household chores (Why fold laundry when you could be folding noobs in PvP?)
• Master the art of the “dad reflex” (Catch a falling sippy cup mid-raid without dropping your DPS.)
• Maintain plausible deniability (“No honey, I wasn’t yelling at the TV—I was… cheering for our team!”)

The struggle is real. You’ve spent years optimizing your rotation as a damage-dealing machine, but nothing prepares you for the ultimate boss fight: convincing a four-year-old that yes, you do have to pause the online game, and no, the internet doesn’t work that way. Meanwhile, your guildmates are blowing up Discord because you missed the tank swap—again—and your wife is giving you that look because you promised to take out the trash right after this quest (three hours ago).

The true test of skill? When real life and MMO life collide catastrophically:

• The “Oops, Wrong Chat” Incident – Accidentally typing “BRB, baby on fire” in guild chat instead of the family group text.
• The Schedule War – Trying to explain to your raid leader that you can’t make Wednesday nights anymore because you signed up to coach chess.
• The Eternal Lie – “I’ll be off in five minutes!” you shout, as you secretly queue for one more battleground.

At the end of the day, you’re just a person trying to have it all—epic loot and a functional family. Sure, your kid’s birthday party might have been scheduled around a patch drop, and yes, you may have referred to your spouse as the quest-giver by accident last week. But you’re making it work.