Likely Normal

We live in the golden age of data—where every click, scroll, and half-hearted mouse wiggle is religiously tracked, stored, and turned into eighteen colorful charts that technically mean something. The problem? We’re not mining insights anymore; we’re panning for gold in a firehose of numbers. Your marketing report isn’t a tool, it’s a Where’s Waldo? book where Waldo is profitability and the background is 300 tabs of engagement metrics that vaguely suggest people might like your product, or that might just be bots.

The more data you have, the less you know. You’ve got real-time alerts for hover time on the FAQ page, but when the CEO asks “So, are we making money?”, you’re suddenly a medieval peasant squinting at the sky for omens. The data says… maybe? If we cross-reference these 47 spreadsheets and ignore the part where Google Analytics definitely lied?

And let’s talk about actionable insights—the corporate fairy tale that somewhere in this tsunami of numbers, there’s one useful nugget. Spoiler: It’s buried under Mobile Users: Antarctica (Population: 3) and 7,000% spike in clicks because someone leaned on the keyboard.