Likely Normal

Let’s be real—virtual pets are like relationships with ghosts: high maintenance, zero cuddles. Sure, your Tamagotchi won’t pee on the rug, but it also won’t wag its tail when you walk in the door unless you literally press a button labeled “Wag Tail.” Wow. Such emotion. Meanwhile, your actual dog is side-eyeing you from the corner like, “You’re ignoring me for a JPEG?”

Now, imagine the future: strapping on a headset to pet a glitchy, floating VR dog that occasionally phases through walls like a digital poltergeist. It’s not quite real, but it’s just real enough to make you feel like you’ve stepped into a Twilight Zone episode titled “Why Does My Virtual Labrador Have Demon Eyes?” And let’s not ignore the irony that you’re so busy keeping your pixel-pup “alive” that your flesh-and-blood cat is plotting your demise. (Spoiler: The cat will win. Always.)

So, do we really want to live in a world where “fetch” means waving your arms in the air like you’re swatting invisible bees? Or should we stick with pets who, y’know, exist? Sure, real animals shed, bark at 3 AM, and occasionally eat your shoes—but at least they don’t give you that uncanny valley chill when they “nuzzle” you with slightly delayed animation. Haters, go ahead and rage-comment, but deep down, you know your WII Petz Dogz golden retriever would’ve forgotten you the second the wiimote died.