Likely Normal

Let’s talk about how we husbands “fix” things around the house. Notice the quotation marks—because while we technically address the problem, our solutions often fall somewhere between temporary and mildly concerning. We don’t just repair things; we innovate. We don’t follow instructions; we improvise. And most importantly, we don’t let perfection get in the way of functionality (a word we define very loosely).

Take the classic Leaky Faucet Fix. A normal person calls a plumber. A husband? He jams a toothpick into the handle, wraps it in electrical tape, and declares, “That should hold it.” And it does! For approximately 12 hours. Then, when the dripping returns, he shrugs and says, “Well, it’s slower now. That’s basically fixed.”

Then there’s the Wobbly Table Solution. Most people would level the legs or buy new furniture. Not us. We grab the nearest stack of takeout menus, coasters, or (in extreme cases) a single folded-up gum wrapper and shim that bad boy into stability. Does it still rock if you breathe on it? Sure. But if you carefully place your drink in the exact right spot, it’s fine.

And who could forget the DIY Electrical Work? The light switch has been flickering ominously for weeks, but instead of calling an electrician, we confidently announce, “I’ve watched a YouTube video.” Next thing you know, we’re standing on a chair, twisting wires together with pliers, and assuring our spouse, “It’s fine—I turned the power off… probably.” When the lights do come back on (after a few terrifying sparks), we consider it a victory—even if the ceiling fan now only works if you jiggle the remote just right.

The Drywall Patch Job is another masterpiece. There’s a hole in the wall? No problem. We fill it with toothpaste, spackle, or (in emergencies) a wad of chewing gum, then slap some paint over it. Is it smooth? No. Does it vaguely resemble the surrounding wall if you squint? Absolutely. And if anyone touches it, we bark, “Just don’t push on it!”

But our crowning achievement? The “I’ll Get to It” philosophy. That broken cabinet hinge? The squeaky door? The showerhead that only sprays in one direction (directly into the wall)? They’re all on the list. And by list, we mean the mental checklist we definitely aren’t forgetting about. “I know it’s been six months, but I’m waiting for the right part,” we say, nodding sagely, as if Lowe’s is personally hand-crafting our replacement doorknob.

In the end, our fixes may not be permanent, safe, or up to code, but they are resourceful. And really, isn’t that what matters? We’re not handymen—we’re visionaries. We see a problem and think, “How can I make this work with whatever’s in the junk drawer?” So the next time your husband proudly announces, “I fixed it!”, just remember: It might not be pretty, it might not last, but by golly, it’ll be interesting.

And if all else fails, there’s always duct tape. Always.