Likely Normal

They say mathematics is the universal language—elegant, precise, understood across cultures without translation. But let’s be real: the true universal language isn’t calculus or algebra—it’s commerce. Cold, hard cash is what unites humanity far more effectively than the quadratic formula ever could.

Think about it. Drop a mathematician in the middle of Tokyo, and they might bond with a local over the beauty of prime numbers—if they can find another mathematician. But drop a merchant in the same spot, and within minutes, they’ll be haggling over sushi prices using a mix of hand gestures, calculator smashing, and the universal eyebrow raise that means “You’re kidding me, right?” Money needs no Rosetta Stone. A price tag is a price tag, whether you’re in Paris, Mumbai, or a chaotic bazaar where fixed price is considered a hilarious joke.

Even in space, where aliens presumably have no idea what “2+2” means in our primitive base-10 system, you just know the first thing they’d understand is a trade. “Oh, you want our hyperdrive tech? That’ll be three of your Earth ‘cows’ and a lifetime supply of nachos.” Boom. Universal transaction complete.

Meanwhile, mathematics keeps insisting it’s the great unifier, yet half the world still can’t split a dinner bill without a fistfight. Commerce, on the other hand? It’s the language of “I don’t know what you’re saying, but I’ll take two.” And that, my friends, is a fluency we can all appreciate.