Likely Normal

No child reaches adulthood without experiencing at least one era of being a complete menace. History tends to sanitize childhood, portraying famous figures as cherubic prodigies or angelic little scholars. But the truth? Every legend was once a tiny chaos-goblin who made their parents question all their life choices.

Even Geniuses Were Little Monsters

• Baby Mozart probably composed his first symphony at five, but you know there was a phase where he banged pots instead of pianos and wrote a song called “My Sister Smells Like Cheese.”

• Cleopatra may have ruled Egypt, but as a kid, she likely hid scorpions in her siblings’ sandals and said, “It’s just a prank, Ptolemy!”

• Albert Einstein refused to speak until he was four, which sounds profound until you realize he was probably just ignoring everyone out of spite.

The Universal Stages of Childhood Villainy

1. The Food Rebel – The kid who, despite being served a lovingly prepared meal, screams, “I only eat white foods now!” and eats an entire bowl of dry pasta like it’s a personality.

2. The Selective Hearing Act – Perfectly capable of hearing a candy wrapper crumble from three rooms away, yet somehow “Please put your shoes on” translates to “Please paint the dog.”

3. The Public Meltdown Maestro – The grocery store floor is their stage, the cereal aisle their spotlight, and “I want the blue cup, not the green cup” their tragic soliloquy.

Parents Throughout History: Just Trying to Survive

• Medieval peasants probably had toddlers who threw tantrums because their wooden doll “didn’t have the right vibes.”

• Victorian children definitely sneaked bugs into their governess’s tea and called it “scientific exploration.”

• Our distant ancestors probably wailed because their woolly mammoth steak wasn’t cut into dinosaur shapes.

The Takeaway? It’s Normal.

If your kid is currently in their “Why? But why?” phase or has decided that bedtime is an optional concept, congratulations! You’re raising a future leader. Every great human was once a tiny tyrant who colored on walls, fed their vegetables to the dog, chased their sister with a stick, and declared bath time a violation of their rights.

So the next time your child stages a protest because their socks feel weird, take comfort knowing that somewhere, Mozart is nodding in solidarity. After all, even musical prodigies had to go through their “I’m not napping, I’m resting my genius” phase.