Likely Normal

Have you ever fallen down the social media rabbit hole, refreshing your notifications like a gambler at a slot machine, hoping for that sweet, sweet dopamine hit of a like? It starts innocently enough: “I’ll just post this cute pic of my dog.” But 10 minutes later, you’re crouched over your phone like Gollum, whispering “My preciousssss” at your measly three likes. “Why isn’t it double digits yet?!”

The modern Like Hunter is a fascinating creature. They’ll deploy every tactic in the book:

• The Strategic Post Time – Waiting until exactly 2:37 PM on a Tuesday because some algorithm guru on TikTok swore that’s when “engagement peaks.”
• The Vague-Bait Caption – “Wow. Just wow. Can’t even.” (Translation: “Please ask me what’s wrong so I can feel important.”)
• The Overzealous Hashtagging – “#sunset #nature #photography #sky #clouds #life #blessed #iPhone #oxygen #carbonbasedlifeform” (Because maybe, just maybe, one of these will trick the algorithm into making you famous.)
• The Desperate Engagement Bait – “Drop a 😍 if you’d eat this pizza!” (You don’t care about their pizza opinions. You just need those sweet, sweet reaction emojis to fill the void.)

And when the likes do roll in? Oh, it’s euphoria. You’re basically a celebrity now. “Twenty-seven likes?! That’s practically viral!” But when they don’t? Cue the existential crisis. “Do my friends hate me? Am I shadowbanned? Is my face broken?”

The funniest part? Half the people who like your post didn’t even look at it. They’re just trapped in the same endless scroll, mindlessly double-tapping out of habit, chasing their own next hit of validation. It’s a vicious cycle—we’re all just hamsters on a social media wheel, sprinting toward absolutely nothing.

So next time you catch yourself obsessing over your like count, ask: “Would I still post this if no one could see it?” (The answer is probably no.) But hey—if a few tiny red hearts make you happy, chase that high. Just don’t be surprised when Instagram one day replies, “Seek therapy.”