Likely Normal

The U.S. tax code operates on a simple premise: nothing should ever be simple. What begins as an innocent attempt to report your income quickly spirals into an existential crisis when you realize the form asking “Did you receive any cryptocurrency?” has somehow led you down a rabbit hole of capital gains worksheets and Schedule D attachments. The home office deduction alone reads like a Zen koan – you may claim part of your residence as a business expense, but only if that space has never been used for anything resembling human activity beyond work. This explains why so many freelancers now work in glorified closets, whispering to guests, “Don’t look directly at my desk or I’ll lose my deduction.”

Children transform from adorable dependents to complex tax puzzles the moment they turn eighteen. That college student who still uses your address for Amazon deliveries but lives on ramen and student loans? The IRS has devised a 27-point qualification system that somehow still leaves you wondering if you’ve committed perjury. Meanwhile, every receipt you’ve ever casually tossed into a drawer now theoretically matters, especially that suspiciously high “business dinner” at the steakhouse that just happened to coincide with your anniversary. The IRS may pretend not to notice, but they’re always watching – like Santa Claus, if Santa charged interest and could garnish your wages.

Audits unfold like a choose-your-own-adventure book where every path leads to frustration. One day you’re confidently mailing your 1040, the next you’re explaining to a stone-faced agent why your “professional development” expenses include a new gaming chair and three months of Disney+. The real genius of the system is how it makes even the most honest citizen feel vaguely criminal – that moment when you second-guess whether claiming the $12 charitable donation to the office fundraiser will trigger a full forensic investigation. Yet through all this complexity runs one unifying truth: somewhere in America right now, someone is attempting to deduct their cat as a business expense, and the IRS is already drafting a very stern letter.