Trick or Malware
Picture this: It’s Halloween, and instead of handing out Snickers bars to kids, you’re distributing USB sticks to adults—because let’s be honest, nothing makes a grown professional’s eyes light up faster than free tech. A USB drive is basically the Reese’s Cup of the corporate world: small, enticing, and potentially full of something that will wreak havoc on your system. Kids get cavities from too much sugar; adults get ransomware from “Event_Photos_Final(2).exe.”
There’s an undeniable thrill to finding a random USB stick in the wild. It’s like discovering unmarked treasure—except instead of gold, you might be plugging in the digital equivalent of a glitter bomb that encrypts your hard drive. Yet, just like a toddler who’s been told not to eat mystery candy off the sidewalk, adults still can’t resist the siren song of “I’ll just take a quick peek.” Oh, this was left on a park bench by a stranger? Must be someone’s lost vacation photos! What’s the worst that could happen? (Spoiler: The worst is always a keystroke logger dressed up as a PDF of “Free iPhone giveaway rules.”)
The parallels between candy and USB drives are eerie. Both come in colorful, bite-sized packages. Both promise instant gratification. And both can hide something truly sinister beneath their innocent exteriors. A chocolate bar might have peanuts you’re allergic to; a USB stick might have malware that turns your laptop into a botnet zombie. But hey, at least with candy, you usually know it’s a bad idea after the first bite—with malware, you might not realize your mistake until your desktop background is replaced with a ransom note written in Comic Sans.
So this Halloween, if you really want to scare someone, skip the fake blood and jump scares. Just leave a USB stick labeled “Payroll Bonuses 2023” in the office break room. Watch with glee as your coworkers descend into a feeding frenzy, their common sense overridden by the primal urge to click first and ask questions never. After all, nothing’s scarier than human curiosity—except maybe IT’s face when they have to explain, again, why you shouldn’t plug in random hardware you found in the parking lot.
Trick or treat? More like click and weep.
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