Likely Normal

There’s a special breed of hacker who doesn’t just want to steal your data—they want to mess with your life in ways so bizarre, you’d think they’re training for a reality show called “Prank My Identity.” These digital gremlins skip the boring stuff like draining bank accounts and go straight for the creative chaos: changing your Amazon shipping address to a random warehouse in Nebraska, swapping your Netflix profile language to Klingon, or signing you up for 37 obscure newsletters about competitive snail racing.

The audacity is almost impressive. One day you’re minding your business, the next you’re getting a confirmation email that your Prime account now ships exclusively to “Big Daddy’s Fun Zone” in Florida. Your Uber Eats is suddenly filled with orders for ghost pepper wings sent to your ex’s apartment. Your smart fridge keeps auto-ordering pickles and Mountain Dew despite your repeated attempts to convince the algorithm you’re a grown adult who eats salad (sometimes).

The real kicker? These hackers often don’t even profit from the mayhem—they do it for the lolz. While traditional thieves might empty your wallet, these cyber-trolls would rather rename your smart devices to “Spybot 3000” just to freak you out, program your Roomba to aggressively chase the cat at 3 AM, or change all your social media bios to “I ❤️ Michael Bolton.”

It’s like having a poltergeist that knows your password. And good luck proving to customer service that no, you didn’t order that life-sized animatronic Shrek to your office—that was definitely some bored 17-year-old in a basement who cracked your account during math class.